The newly married Mr. and Mrs. float from the church doors into the shiny white limo that awaits them at the curb. As they enjoy their first 20 minutes of marriage on the ride to their reception site, they look out the window and observe “their” day: a day without a cloud in the sky, the color of pale blue for miles on end, and the sun shining brightly up above. They marvel at how the day couldn’t have been any better for a wedding day. As their eyes move from the bright sun to the moving cars that shared the road, they find themselves staring into an unexpected sight: a long, black hearse driving along side their limo. It was an odd site to see on such a blissful day, and as the hearse moved past them, the newly Mr. and Mrs. couldn’t help but wonder what the people in the black limo following the hearse, the family members of the deceased, thought about the day.
Your Task: (Please write your response in a new Word document):
To practice your descriptive ability, and keeping in mind the descriptive model critiqued Friday in class and for homework, describe the day from the perspective of either the newly married bride and groom traveling in the white limo, or the grieving family members of the deceased in the black limo. Try experimenting with the various Elements of Style in your response.
ReplyDeleteMichele Scannell
As we drove behind the black hearse that held our dearest grandmother, we couldn't help but notice the beautiful day we had for her funeral today. We admired the clear, blue sky which definitely took away some of the pain from our recent lose. We gazed through the tinted windows and saw all the people on the sidewalks, smiling and enjoying the crystal clear day. Even though my family was feeling gloomy and devastated, seeing this gorgeous day made it seem a little bit better. As we continued to drive, our eyes wandered to the white limo next to us that said "Just Married" on it. All I could think about was the amazing day they got for their big day. The newly weds were most likely ecstatic for the delightful day they had ahead of them. We all wondered what they were thinking as they looked out the window to see such a dreary, unwelcoming hearse and limo traveling down the road on such a delightful day. And we also wondered what they thought our thoughts were having to go through something so tragic on this beautiful day. The white limo seemed so pure as we looked from the inside of our dark, somber limo. My family decided that today was definitely in our favor and also the newly weds. They were rewarded with the stunning day to start their new life together, to begin a whole new journey in their lives. We also believed the day was in our favor as well because it signified our grandmother looking over us. It showed us that we shouldn't be so sad or depressed, but to move on in life knowing she is looking down on us. After realizing what this day meant for us, all we could think of was positive thoughts to remember someone so dear to my family.
It was finally the wedding day. It was so beautiful, everything was perfect. It was most likely the most beautiful setting Mr. and Mrs. (soon to be) Float have ever seen. All of their planning, all of the time they put into the wedding was finally laid out in front of them. The light shined through the windows of the church. Mr. and Mrs. Float were both so nervous they could feel their pulse throughout their entire body. It was a bright and beautiful day, a perfect one to get married. Nothing could mess up how amazing this day had them feeling. Mrs. Float was in her long, white dress, and Mr. Float was in his elegant black tuxedo. After the ceremony, it was time for the after-party. Mr. and Mrs. Float were finally joined together in the most spectacular way. On the way there, Mr. and Mrs. Float saw a funeral hearse. It caught them by surprise, that on the best day of their life, there were people who were having the worst day of their life. Either way, they were not going to let anything bring them down on their special day. When they got to the wedding hall, there were many tables with beautiful white tablecloths throughout the dining area. The tablecloths were so clean that any sign of imperfection would have been noticed straight away. There was music and there was everyone that was important to Mr. and Mrs. Float. It was a night that they were both going to remember for the rest of their lives. The wedding hall had about seven glass chandeliers and flowers of every color scattered around the rooms. If you could take the entire world’s happiness and put it into one day, it was, in fact, the Float’s wedding day. They danced, and ate, and talked through all the hours until they could not dance or eat or talk anymore. Everyone had such an amazing time and made sure they smiled and looked cheerful as they said goodnight. And it was, in fact, a good night; for them, at least.
ReplyDeletemany may see this day as a perfect day to live, bright blue sky, warm with a light breeze, and no clouds in the sky. I see it differently, as the perfect day to leave, a clear path to the afterlife. nothing stands in the way not even a cloud. this day symbolizes what's to come for not only the person passing but the family as well. It shows that there's a bright future and a clear path to happiness. It was batter off this way and he left of the most perfect day.
ReplyDeleteGood start. Can you develop a bit further? :)
DeleteThe sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky. It was the day that we had been waiting for our whole entire lives. Months of planning had gone into making this day the very best that it could possibly be. As we exited the church and started to make our way toward the bright white limo that didn’t have an ounce of dirt on it. As we drove down the road I looked around and how everything in the moment was so perfect. The way the sunshine was hitting the windows or the way the birds sounded chirping away. There was no place else that we wanted to be we were completely happy in the exact moment that we were in, there was nothing to worry or think about. Just pure happiness.
ReplyDeleteThe newlyweds are elated. It is the greatest day of their lives. From their perspective, the sun is shining brighter, the sky is a beautiful blue, and everything is perfect. The birds chirping are singing a sweet melody. The smile on her face is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. The bride could not have asked for a more perfect day.
ReplyDeleteNice. Can you develop a bit further? :)
DeleteDrops dripping down our faces. emotions were ominous and nobody could make sensse of what the world has brought us. My thoughts in my head were bouncing around, swinging from branch to branch. I had no clue what to make of it, everyone i saw looked the same as me. That one certain look. It kinda memiced the face of a young boy when he doesnt get what he wants, acting as if everything bordering his life is terminited. There was no reason to keep going. I mean, what is the to look forward to anymore? No matter what I do in the future, the thought of you will always be revovling brain. I will never forget the crazy accent you had that only me and my family could understand. Nobody else had any clue what you were saying. But I did. They didnt understand you. And they never will.
ReplyDeleteGood. A couple of images are slightly unclear.
DeleteThe sky was barren and uneventful, foreshadowing the dull dreariness of the coming funeral. Not a cloud loomed in the sky, as if they themselves were away mourning in solitude. The sun hung motionless in the sky and provided a stark contrast to the otherwise unending sea of monotonous blue that could inspire nothing but melancholy and misery. The wind blew with an unnatural softness, lacking the strength or motivation of a normal day as it slowly scurried through the woods that lined the highway like a bulwark.
ReplyDeleteExcellent use of literary devices.. simile, personification, alliteration, imagery, action verbs, etc... Fantastic!
DeleteAlexander ruiz
ReplyDeleteWe find beauty in death, within the darkness of our inevitable end there’s always a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. Today my beloved wife left this wretched world… He took her away from me; we still had so much to do. Its like he’s mocking me, as we pass the church I wipe my salty tears from my eyes and face I see a wedding-- its all flooding back into my head all at once-- all those bitter sweet memories. I remember our wedding day, oh it was a sight to see, the bells, the color, all the people we hold dear to us… (*pauses for crying*) Oh God please, I’ll do anything to get her back please just Make the pain go away. We’re at the Funeral now, my wife is about to be put in the ground. My father walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “I know it was before her time son, but we find the man that did this.”... Many years have passed since then and i can remember every second of that day, but with is time I’ve learned to accept what happened even though we never found the killer.
Fantastic job. I love your characterization of your subject, as well as the powerful tragic nature of the story.
DeleteTime stands still today, everyone’s feelings and emotions are out of place and out of order. Pain and sorrow fill the air as friends and family weep and grieve. Everyone looks for an answer as to how or why but there is no clear answer insight. A hearse pulls up carrying a once blissful and joyful soul, but today that soul is put to rest and brought up to the kingdom of heaven. The day may look joyous and beautiful on the outside but deep down inside today is dark, gloomy, and crippling. Everyone is here to mourn a death but also to celebrate and commend a life that was once well and alive. People think back and remember the days they spent with this person and they replay all the great times and memories this person left. The day is harder and more frightening for some than it is others but everyone can feel the pain. Loved ones may feel upset and hurt on this uneasy day, but everyone rises up and comes together to pray. As the bleak depressing day came to an end people had to utter one of the hardest words of all, goodbye.
ReplyDeleteVery philosphical and touching
DeleteIt seemed as if some outside force had kept the three brothers from moving. They were stuck in the same same, long, and tedious position, waiting for someone to say, “its time” but until then they were stuck in that position. The oldest one grew tired. He was impatient of waiting any longer. He made a move for it, as if someone dared him too, and looked outside. It was beautiful. It was gorgeous. It was full of life and energy. He gazed, he looked, and he took it all in but there was no effect. The sky was as blue as could be and the sun was shining bright like it was trying to penetrate his soul. But nothing could penetrate his soul, he was depressed. His mother died. It was the perfect day. It was like it was made for somebody else, and as he gazed on to the other limo he could see why.
ReplyDeleteInteresting take on the surprise at the end.
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ReplyDeleteThe two star-gazed lovers were staring at each other and they knew that today was their day. They began to walk out of the pearl white church, filled with the ecstasy of love when they noticed the black hearse driving through the streets. Following the hearse was what seemed like a conga line of cars going towards the graveyard where they would celebrate the life and mourn the death of a loved one. Mr. Float could only imagine how the family at the funeral feels right now. He just pictures how he would feel if it was his new wife in the casket and tears began to fill his eyes. As the last car rolls past, the back window lowers and a small boy peers out over the edge like a bear taking its first look outside after winter. Mr. Float made eye contact with the boy and the boy raised his arm to wave. When this happened Mr. Float recognized that the stages of life are inevitable and the tears that were filling his eyes began to streak down his face and he embraced his new wife.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I like the bear simile and love the connection between the boy and Mr. Float!
DeleteAs we drove by the black hearse, we felt nothing but pain for the people who were inside or driving around it. We thought of the day being happy and exciting but by seeing the actions being placed around them you can tell the day for them is a horrible dreaded day. It looked like a line of cars following the deathly black hearse knowing that the day would be horrible. Mr. Float made eye contact with the boy and the boy raised his arm to wave. Loved ones may feel upset on this hard day, but everyone rises and comes together to pray and love their loved ones.
ReplyDeleteGood. A tiny bit confusing. Where was the boy introducted? :)
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